Act I

Characters:  Four squirrels, I and God as Judge
Scene: A garden.  Judge is seated in the shade of a huge tree.  Other plaintiffs and lawyers are seen in the vicinity.  It is now the hearing for my case.

Squirrel I comes forward.  Bows down to the august Judge and clasps his hand in his characteristic 'नमस्ते'.  God acknowledges his presence by a nod of His head.  He goes on to present his case:

O lord Almighty, it is with your blessings that we have lived in the slope garden near route 40 many years for many generations.  Abounding in trees this place gives us ample shelter and food.  As you know, we search for food in the surrounding few yards.  There is enough for us to thrive.  Recently we came across a bird feeder in one of the patios on the ground floor, but this lady, right here (he looks at me scornfully at this time) does not let us eat from there.  And when I observe from tree tops, nor does she eat from there.  My Lord, I think she is being very mean by depriving us of our food.

God:  I see.  (He asks me) Now what do you have to say?

I step forward, bow down to Him and clear my throat.

I : My Lord, it was last year that we came to live in this beautiful place and since then have been getting multiple bird feeders and suets so that many different types of birds come to our backyard.  But I notice that these four squirrels, because of their presence near the feeders frighten away many of the birds.  Not only that; sometimes they behave like rowdies, they fight with each other, they push down the pole on which are the feeders and dig the flowerpots.  These things irritate me to the core.  I say, if they cannot eat without disturbing other things, they don't have to eat at all.

God gives a smile.  He turns to the squirrel and says:  She was a teacher.  This was what she was doing in the school where she was, before coming here - bullying the students and expecting 'discipline' from them.

I interrupt:  God!! How can you say this about me.  Haven't you yourself said. आचार्यदेवो भव! How can you talk this way about my noble profession!

God: That's true.  Teaching is indeed a very noble profession, but how many teachers are 'noble'?  For that matter why do you have to show your greatness on these poor animals!  Don't you know that they are just going by their instinct, given by Me.  To dig and bury seeds is their nature, and by that how many trees have grown, what a great help that is to the plant kingdom.  This is their way of giving back to प्रकृति .  Tell me another thing, why do you have to keep feeders in your patio if you do not like these unwelcome visitors.

I:  Exactly, these are indeed unwelcome visitors.  Moreover it was his idea and not mine to keep these bird feeders.  How can I remain a mute spectator when these little rascals wreak havoc in our patio?  (I sulk and put my head down, not having the courage to look into His powerful eyes)

Seeing me silent, God turns to the squirrels

God:  Now you heard her side of the story.  Tell me, why you creatures have to fight there itself?  Are there not many beautiful shrubberies where you can play to your hearts content without any interference.

All squirrels put their head down in shame.  Squirrel III comes forward.

Squirrel III:  lord our Master, I have a complaint, not about this lady but about one of us.  These two squirrels right here I and II are very dominating.  They don't let me and my wife to eat anything from the feeders.  Actually these people have scattered grains all over their patio and also on the grass, but these two fatsos don't let us even come near any of them.  They want to monopolize all the places.  And that's not fair!  If they are in any one place, we respectfully avoid that place and go to the adjacent area, but these greedy guys ensure we are out.  That's why we end up running all around the place and at times pushing down a pot or two.  

He says this in a small voice and looks at me through the corner of the eye.
With a look of  'See I told you these are not angels' I turn to God to see what his reaction would be.

God:  Alright.  Pushing down pots is definitely a 'No'.  How can you displace baby plants in their pots.  You all have to be careful about that in future.  You wish to benefit from the feeders so you have to make sure that at no time do you disturb the plants in the patio.  Also you all have to be united and make sure everyone eats to their fill.  And make sure you don't  monopolize the feeders the whole time.  Have some sort of time-share.

All squirrels in chorus:  Yes my Lord.

God raises his hand in अभय.  All salute Him and leave the room.